Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
While we may make plans, surrendering our journey to the Lord allows for guidance and transformative growth.
One thing that I appreciate about life is the ability to wake up each day and embrace the opportunity for a fresh start. It is a gift we often overlook. As we stand on the brink of a new year, the idea of resolutions and grand transformations can be enticing. However, I'd like to share a different perspective – the significance of starting small, being consistent, and making changes in our lives at any given moment, regardless of the calendar date.
Life's journey isn't a waiting room for specific occasions like New Year's, birthdays, or the changing of seasons. What I've come to appreciate most is the ability to simply wake up and try again, any day I choose, no milestone necessary.
Admittedly, I, grapple with discipline. The journey of self-improvement sometimes feels like a series of battles against myself. Yet, upon reflection, I realize the significance of the progress made over the past few years. It's essential to acknowledge our growth and be proud of the journey, recognizing that life isn't solely about achieving goals. There is an allure in simply being and letting go of the need to constantly nitpick.
Setting goals is valuable, but the approach matters. Instead of overwhelming ourselves with an extensive to-do list just to get through life, there's profound meaning in slowing down and being intentional. I've discovered that accomplishing more isn't about doing more; it's about doing things with purpose and mindfulness.
In the past, I juggled multiple goals simultaneously, but now, as I enter a season of lightening my load, I've learned the importance of embracing moments of stillness. It's perfectly acceptable to return home after work and do absolutely nothing. Slowing down, savoring each moment, and refusing to engage in activities that drain my energy has become a priority.
In this economic climate, reassessing priorities becomes crucial. Amidst the busyness, I've realized that some of the "extra" activities I engage in don't even contribute to my well-being or financial stability, yet I was nearly burned out. Insert side eye. At times, I find myself doing it to please others. Yes, it’s good to support others, but not too much sis. I had to sit with myself to map out how much time I was dedicating to work and serving others and I realized that I needed to pour into me this season. I need my needs met.
I feel like God has been calling me to slow down for some time now. There's a certain tranquility in responding to the call for isolation. I'm learning to accept this feeling which is the polar opposite of what I am accustomed to. If He is calling me to slow down, it must be with good reason and I’m excited to see what is on the other end of my obedience.
I’m getting comfortable with saying no to the things that take up huge chunks of my time. At work I do my best everyday and if there is something I haven’t gotten to I’m okay with not taking it home and instead leaving it to be done at a later time. I’ve been in the education field for 12 years now, there is always something to do. Our work is never really done, which is why I am choosing to hop off of the hamster wheel.
Going into the new year, my personal challenge is refreshingly simple: drink more water, spend more time with God, family and my business. Change doesn't always require grand gestures. Starting small, being consistent, and prioritizing what truly matters can lead to transformative growth. Life is a journey, and every moment is an opportunity to evolve, regardless of the date on the calendar.
]]>Another Layer Revealed in this Journey Called Life
Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Isn't that something to celebrate? It's all about self-acceptance and embracing the unique strengths and qualities God crafted in us.
Now, if you've been following my journey, you might remember my tales of breaking free from people-pleasing. Childhood experiences led me to a place of constant self-doubt, seeking acceptance in not-so-healthy spaces. Fast forward, and here I am, proudly carving out my space. No more room-crashing or staying in unwelcoming places—I've learned to respect myself with healthy boundaries.
For so long I’ve struggled with feeling worthy and although I now surround myself with people who respect me, I recently discovered another layer that has been an eye opener.
I have always considered myself a giver—any opportunity to serve, count me in! I love helping others, especially those eager to help themselves. Yet, in this walk, I've noticed some blurred lines. I realized that I sometimes help others because I feel unworthy in certain spaces, like I need to prove something. It's natural for me to lend a hand, but I'm becoming mindful of why I am doing it.
Let me share a little moment with you. Today, I walked into a busy coffee shop, tables in chaos, left behind by some teenagers. My first instinct? Grab a rag and start cleaning. But halfway through asking the manager, I caught myself. Instead of asking for a rag, I asked her if she'd mind taking care of it. It hit me in that moment—I was doing it partly because it was a white-owned establishment. I found myself wanting to be the friendly black face (cue side-eye), which I actually do often, now that I am thinking about it. Unbelievable, but it's my truth.
And as I spill my thoughts here, I can't help but wonder, is this a form of manipulation? Am I proving my worth to be accepted? Like… I proved to you these things and so you should accept me. I think I do this in many of my relationships. It's a realization hitting me as I type, not something I planned for this blog now turned journal entry.
Although some may feel shame with these types of realizations, this type of exposure often happens in my journal writing which is why I wholeheartedly believe in writing to heal. I use to hesitate to write even in a journal because I was too embarrassed to look at myself. Now, I’ve come a long way and I am able to share these in the moment experiences due to the amount of work I put into my healing. I’ve learned to be patient with myself and give myself grace.
This was meant to be a blog, but here we are, real and unfiltered. I had something on my heart and wanted to share and it revealed new truths that I need to unpack. I’ll do some more writing in the upcoming days and consult with my therapist at our next session, which is another tool that supports me on this adventure.
By serving with my gifts and strengths, I will continue to contribute to building His kingdom while simultaneously unlearning the belief that I'm not enough. I don't claim to have all the answers, but here's what I know: we are worthy in the eyes of God. Remember, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
As a self-love coach for woman, I intimately understand the transformative power embedded in these words. The recognition that God has intentional plans for our lives serves as a foundational truth, a rock upon which we can build our understanding of self, purpose, and direction.
The journey toward self-love and empowerment often involves shedding layers of conditioning that may have hindered our growth. Personally raised in the Catholic faith, I navigated a path where obedience seemed paramount, and the fear of divine retribution was a constant presence. It was a landscape where the concept of God wanting us to win, to flourish, was overshadowed by a belief system that hid His unconditional love.
For a considerable time, these misconceptions became stumbling blocks, creating a space within me that made me feel crippled and unworthy. It wasn't until a revelation a few years ago that this narrative shifted. I discovered that God's love isn't tethered to perfection; it's boundless and unconditional. This revelation marked a profound turning point toward understanding that God desires a relationship filled with love, not one rooted in fear. I don’t know about you but I would constantly avoid Him because I was ashamed and felt like it was impossible to live up to His standards.
The ongoing journey of unlearning unhealthy thoughts and habits has become a healing canvas. I have been able to reveal the underlying truths behind my reactions and emotions, that assists me in letting go and developing my confidence. This journey isn't a linear progression, and I won't claim to be fully healed, but I can boldly state that I am not the person I used to be. I stand proudly in a space where what once seemed like dead ends now reveal themselves as constant opportunities for growth and transformation.
In the realm of self-love coaching, the journey often intertwines with the practice of journaling. Journaling becomes a sacred space where one can dig into the layers of conditioning, confront limiting beliefs, and embark on a path of healing. To enhance your experience, consider exploring these prompts in a dedicated journal—visit our online shop for beautifully crafted journals to accompany you on your journey of self-discovery and grace. I encourage you to begin your journey using the following five journal prompts tailored for starting over:
What is God’s Plan for You?
Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has plans for our welfare and a future filled with hope. Take some time to reflect on what you believe God's plans are for your life. What things have been tugging at your heart? How does this knowledge shape your perspective on starting over?
You are Worthy!
Share a moment from your past where you felt unworthy or hindered by limiting beliefs. How has your journey of unlearning these beliefs been so far? What steps are you taking to rewrite your life and embrace the opportunities that lie ahead?
Count Your Blessings!
Discuss a personal experience that helped you realize God's unconditional love. How has this understanding transformed your relationship with God? In what ways has it influenced your journey of healing and starting over?
Healing Through Prayer
Explore the role of prayer as a tool for healing in your life. How has prayer helped you to be still and uncover underlying truths about your reactions and emotions? Share specific moments when prayer became a source of clarity and self-discovery.
You are exactly where you need to be to start over
Reflect on the concept of giving yourself grace in the journey of starting over. How does the acknowledgment that you are doing your best impact your daily life? Share a recent experience where giving yourself grace led to growth and improvement. How do you approach each new day as an opportunity to be better?
]]>In the warm embrace of summer, there's no better way to show yourself some love than by treating your body to a vibrant and refreshing salad that not only delights your taste buds but also nourishes your soul. Say hello to the ultimate Summer Salad, a colorful masterpiece that brings together a symphony of flavors and textures, designed to celebrate the season and promote self-love. Packed with nutrient-rich ingredients, this salad is a testament to the care and appreciation you deserve.
Summer Salad Ingredients:
Avocado
Arugula
Cucumber
Candied pecans
Watermelon
Strawberry
Jalapeno
Red onion
Basil
Mint
Cilantro
Tajin
Black pepper
salt
Dressing
Rice vinegar
Balsamic vinegar
Fresh lime juice
As you indulge in this sumptuous Summer Salad, take a moment to appreciate the masterpiece you've created – a true expression of self-love and care. Every bite is a reminder that you deserve nourishment, joy, and vibrant health. So, bask in the flavors of the season, and let this salad be a celebration of you.
]]>I've been where you are, chasing temporary satisfaction and looking for validation from external sources. But after taking responsibility for my own healing, I realized that the answer was in trusting in God. It wasn't until I truly gave my problems to Him and trusted that He had my back that I began to experience real healing and self-acceptance.
Trusting in God is a process that takes time and effort, but it's the beginning of a journey that can empower you to achieve your dreams. You'll begin to see that God is always with you, protecting you no matter what happens. And as you learn to trust in Him, you'll find the strength to overcome any obstacle and pursue your passions.
As a coach, I've seen the power of prayer and faith in action. I've witnessed clients who were once discouraged and defeated rise up and achieve their dreams by trusting in God and doing the work. I know that you too can find the same sense of purpose and fulfillment by letting go and giving your problems to Him.
So if you're struggling with feelings of unworthiness or searching for something to fill a void in your life, I encourage you to trust in God and begin to spend alone time with him. It may not be easy to be consistent with prayer, but the rewards internal peace are more than worth it. Remember, you're not alone in your journey. You're worthy of love and happiness, and with God's guidance, you can unlock your full potential and achieve anything you set your mind to.
]]>Let your mood set the tone with a Candid Soul candle created just for you. Light up a joyful moment, embrace your inner self or mellow out after a long day strapped into your daily routine. Candid Soul Candles are for everyone who appreciates an intimate moment.
It's always the perfect time to light a Candid Soul Candle
Especially as the weather cools I love a home cooked meal. There are many benefits to eating a home cooked meal; saving money, choosing fresh ingredients, better portion control, a clean space. No shade but do we really know what goes on in those kitchens. Growing up I enjoyed cooking with my mother and being able to sit around the table with my family each night to enjoy her cooking. Today in my single season, while cooking for one, I enjoy the benefits of cooking at home because I get to put my own spin on recipes.
Here are the ingredients to my favorite autumn grilled cheese and tomato soup recipes. It’s an easy meal to cook. Please don’t judge until you try for yourself.
Grilled cheese
Two slices of your favorite kind of hard bread (bread that doesn’t easily become soggy)
Two slices of Cheddar cheese
Brie cheese
Two slices Turkey bacon
Maple syrup
Pumpkin puree 2 tablespoons
about 3 thinly slice pieces of your favorite apple
Optional: A dash Cinnamon powder, Ginger powder nutmeg powder, clove powder ( There is a seasoning called pumpkin spice I found at trader joes that has the four powders already combined.)
Use butter for frying
How to prepare:
Place the bread on the cutting board. Add the tomato puree to both sides. On one side add the turkey bacon, pour a drizzle of maple syrup onto the turkey bacon. Add the apple slices, then the slices of cheddar and Brie cheeses. On the opposite side add 3 dashes of the powders.
Place the frying pan on the stove to get warm. Add the butter. When the butter begins to sizzle add the bread. On the side of the bread that is up. Add two thin pieces of butter. Watch closely because it depends on the type of beard you use that will determine when to flip it. Usually about 1 minute. When you are using the spatula to flip the sandwich make sure the butter lands underneath the sandwich and not just in the pan.
Tomato soup
Grill the following ingredients in the oven for 45 minutes at 350 degrees
24 ounces of tomatoes
1 whole onion chopped
1 peeled garlic head
5 thyme sprigs
Fresh basil
8 oz of tomato paste
½ teaspoon of red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon of black pepper
Tablespoon of grated fresh ginger
2 Tablespoon of oregano
3 tablespoons of olive oil to drizzle over combined ingredients
On the Stove top add the following to a medium saucepan
grilled veggies
8 oz of coconut milk
½ cup of broth
add a little salt and pepper to taste
Stir for two minutes
Take out sprigs of thyme
Place in a blender or use a hand blender to puree
Makes 3 servings
Set the mood with your favorite Candid Soul Candle
Serve with grilled cheese and Enjoy
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Have you ever felt as if you can't get out of your head? You're constantly replaying an experience over and over again, each time with a different ending or finding another reason to hate yourself? Well, the solution may be found in a simple task, writing. Writing to Heal is a method coined by James W. Pennebaker which uses expressive writing to heal the mind and body. Through expressive writing you can get all of your thoughts out and put them into context. When it comes to healing, writing is a beneficial tool for many.
The process of writing about our thoughts and emotions can bring about a release of old trauma so that we feel better able to recognize and respond to possible triggers in the future. It can also help us form clear thoughts about the things that bother us. Since expressive writing can have such a positive effect on our lives, it seems like something well worth incorporating into our routines.
Expressive writing is a valuable tool to help people express their thoughts and feelings, and gain insight into themselves. Too often we keep our emotions bottled up inside us, until it becomes too much. In a sense, we become human pressure cookers. We allow harmful thoughts, feelings and emotions to build up until one day, something triggers it and instead of just having an emotion, there is damage done.
Our days can be filled with enough inner turmoil, external pressures, distractions and noise that it is essential we carve out some time each day to do an activity that will allow us to release and bring us peace.
I’ve been a journaling enthusiast since I was in middle school. Since then, I’ve experimented with different ways of writing. There are many ways to journal — prayer journals, gratitude journals, creative writing journals, bullet journals, notebooks, legal pads, journals with lines and those without. But using the Writing to Heal process has been the most therapeutic and effective way for me to process stress and thoughts throughout my day.
It has become one of my favorite exercises that helps me to identify and understand the blocks that are limiting my growth as a person, while guiding me on a path towards healing and peace. Writing has become my greatest tool, and I highly recommend it as a form in which to learn, heal, and grow in all areas of your life.
Now don’t get me wrong, my spiritual practices have played a major role in my healing process. I also speak to a talk therapist, I have a bi-monthly bodywork appointment with a massage therapist and I try to keep up with other daily self-care practices, including exercise and rest.
I've always enjoyed writing — keeping a journal, writing poems, or writing letters to friends. I’ve vented in some of my journals but I never look back at them. I think part of the reason I wasn't doing that for so long was because to be honest, I was afraid and ashamed of confronting my emotions, feelings and my thoughts.
Last year, I experienced so much emotional turmoil. I was tired of stumbling over the same scenario year in and year out so I decided that I would make my mental and emotional health a priority. I put achieving the next goal on my to-do list on the back burner and decided to put my self care first.
I stumbled on the Writing to Heal process while searching for answers while being in a really dark place. I decided to give it a try because I already enjoyed writing and I felt like I tried everything else. I began reading my old journals and noticed some unwanted patterns that I continued to experience due to lack of clarity, and understanding. I decided to begin there. I used this journaling process to reflect on how I’d come to this place in my life. I had to challenge myself to address the limiting beliefs about myself and the world around me. I had to be intentional about supporting this mental shift and I had to create new systems to support this which is where my therapist and community came in.
Journaling has been a game changer for my toolbox of self care. I'm able to think about things differently, see things from a different perspective, move forward with my life and not overthink or over analyze anymore. I'm a reflective person as it is, but sometimes I forget specific details or something that is relevant to my experience. I used to constantly obsess over the negative. Our minds can play tricks on us sometimes if we allow it to. Writing things down helps us to see things for what they are and has helped me to let things go and move past those mental blocks.
Today, I'm healthier and happier. So I really push for using the Writing to Heal process, especially with people who have experienced some type of trauma, anxiety or depression that they need help to process.
Expressive writing helps to declutter thoughts, to solve problems that plague the mind. It can help us to become in tune with our needs and desires by developing a healthier relationship with self. I had conducted two cycles a month for 3 months and began to see drastic changes in my life.
Here are the simple and easy to follow steps for the Writing to Heal process:
Note: 1. Avoid using electronic devices for this activity. For those of you who don't like to write, writing on paper is actually better because it helps you to slow down and to process your emotions and write down what you're feeling at that moment.
Note: Each cycle should include 1 topic to focus on for 4 days. For best results Try not to skip any days within the cycle.
*Please note this process is not a replacement for prescribed medication or therapy, but rather an aid.
Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-expression and goal-setting, as well as a way to deeply examine the events of our lives. I believe journaling is an integral part of finding your own truth and through this process, you open the door to your own inner wisdom. Journaling can be hard to begin but once you start it becomes much easier.
Check out more ways to journal at our wellness shop and give the Writing to Heal process a try. Let me know your thoughts, E-mail getcandid@candidsoulco.com.
Journal with me: Subscribe to our newsletter to learn more about our Writing to Heal workshops: Writing in Community.
We are spiritual beings navigating a human experience in a society that is constantly trying to tell us who we are. Take time to slow down and get to know yourself by setting aside just 20 minutes a day. You’re worth much more.
]]>There are similarities and differences between life coaching and therapy. If you are thinking of which you would like to go for, or perhaps you are confused about the two but think it might be beneficial to both talk with someone about your conflicts, then read on.
What is a Life Coach?
A Life Coach is a professional who supports their clients with accomplishing their wellness, professional, and or personal goals to live happier, more fulfilling lives.
Coaching vs. Therapy
Both therapists and coaches focus on wellness and want to help their clients lead a healthier happier life. Coaching is not therapy. Therapists treat mental illness and focus on healing, while coaches focus on productivity and achieving tangible goals. Both therapists and coaches are professionals; they aren't friends who can be inconsistent but hold their clients accountable for achieving their objectives. A Life Coach can be but does not have to be certified while becoming a therapist requires a college degree and training. Both can help clients target and address behaviors that lead to patterns that create destructive habits.
Factors to consider when choosing a coach or therapist:
If you are suffering from past traumas and need support healing or mental illness. You're having difficulty coping with a life event or experience that leads to your quality of life deteriorating. You may be feeling overwhelmed, resentment, anger, anxious, hopeless. You can begin with seeking support from a therapist.
If you want to accomplish your life dreams but need help to get out of your comfort zone and start building towards it, coaching will help you get fast results.
It can be helpful to see both a therapist and coach simultaneously as you work on different areas of your life.
Why hire a Life Coach?
Benefits of working with a Life Coach
The Process of Working with a Life Coach
There are several ways in which the Life Coach may work with you. Attending sessions either face-to-face, by phone, video, or by email correspondence. There is one-to-one coaching or group coaching or a hybrid of both. You can also choose to accompany you on a journey of discovery through life coaching assignments such as a course or book list. When you select an independent avenue, you may get what you intend to achieve, but it may take a bit longer. If you are trying to get faster results, it would be best to work with a Life-Coach.
The process of working with a life coach in 3 easy steps:
1) Assessment: Together, assess where you are and what kind of change(s) would be most beneficial.
2) Goal Setting: Together, set goals; discuss whether these goals are realistic; Set up a system for monitoring progress toward the goals; There is homework. Coaching isn't about sharing your frustration then leaving it at the session; it's doing the work.
3) Accountability: Meet regularly (usually weekly) to discuss progress toward goals; brainstorm about obstacles; revise or revise the plan again; consistency is key.
When to hire a life coach?
Want to fix something wrong with life: You want to improve a specific area in your life, whether it's as small as developing a new habit or a career change.
Have an idea and don't know what to do with it: You have a great idea and need help to clarify what steps to take next.
Feeling stuck: Feeling stuck but unsure as to why. Not sure what you want for yourself and need a safe space to explore possibilities for your life. Need help understanding your purpose and what you truly want for your life.
Ready to make a change: You may be bored with the happenings of your present life. You may have everything you need or have worked toward but still feel unfulfilled. You know what you want to do with your life and need help developing a plan.
Tired of a repetitive cycle: You start but don't finish. You may find yourself dealing with the same scenarios, but not sure how you continue to end up in this same cycle and are finally ready to find an exit.
Types of Life Coaches
There are other subcategories for coaching types under these broader coaching niches. If you can think of it, it probably exists.
I am a certified personal development and self-love coach that falls under the wellness category. Along with the elements listed above, I also help clients develop a healthier mindset, build self-esteem, evaluate belief systems and wellness habits, and become fully present. Most importantly, I assist clients with fostering a better relationship with themselves. If you go more in=depth and begin to understand the whole self, this can lead to long-term success rather than a temporary fix.
Why me?
I've Been where you are:
After my mother passed away in March 2011, I found myself on a journey of self-discovery. It took years of trial and error until I finally found a life of fulfillment.
I am a life-long learner:
I enjoy reading and learning about the latest news in my field of expertise. I am a part of a few book clubs that support both personal leisure and professional development. This is not something that I have to do, but I am passionate about learning.
I am a trained professional:
For the past 15 years, I have worked in the education field. As an educator, I have developed solid skills in critical thinking, patience, communication, organization, leadership, collaboration, time management, technological skills, and conflict resolution.
I earned my 2nd master's in Leadership and Administration, which included an intense 500-hour internship program where I mentored, collaborated on events and committees at the College of Saint Rose. I hold advanced certifications for both School-Building and District-level leadership.
I also completed the New Skills Academy Life Coaching program in December of 2020.
I am a mentor:
I continue to work with and mentor young women in low-income communities pro bono.
I have helped other clients reach success:
Throughout my career, I've hosted challenges, online workshops, and events to support the growth and empowerment of women through education.
Book a consultation call with me today to determine whether I am the right fit for your journey of self-love.
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By Ravin Joseph
Boundaries are expectations that are shared in a relationship. They are a blueprint on how to navigate healthy relationships. These expectations are developed based on what you know about yourself, how past relationships have played out, your goals for the future, and what you want to make available for yourself. As a participant of this relationship, you too should honor the expectations of those with whom you interact with. As each relationship is unique, each relationship has different boundaries that are right for two people to interact in friendship, dating, romantic relationships, marriage/partnership…etc. Boundaries help keep people safe within relationships. By establishing clear boundaries that are right for all parties involved, you will be promoting authenticity in the relationship.
Healthy relationships look like:
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Here are some tips on how to set healthy boundaries:
Codependency can have a serious impact on our lives. No matter how old you are, if your worldview was shaped by growing up in an unhealthy environment, your codependent patterns play out in your romantic relationships, friendships, work relationships, and other social connections. This can leave you stuck in one-sided relationships that aren't fulfilling or reciprocated.
Identifying patterns of behavior is step one in changing them. Review your childhood relationships. Think about how they may be repeating or magnifying some unhealthy patterns. To better understand what's underneath those patterns, think about where and why they may have begun.
It's important to be clear about your needs, wants, and values. Those that are important to you change throughout your life, This is normal. As you learn and grow you develop new ideas. It's important to understand what is really important to you now. This will help you make choices, decide which boundaries you need to put in place and determine which ones need to be adjusted or let go all together.
The best relationships are based on trust, communication, and honesty. Being honest in relationships is important, but talking about it can be difficult. Healthy two-way communication with a friend is a significant factor in effective boundary setting, as is keeping expectations realistic and fair. Your friends need to know where the boundaries of friendship lie and they need to understand your expectations and limits. If you struggle with communicating your expectations for your relationship try the following activity.
Write a script and practice it with a friend or in front of a mirror. Make sure that when you share your limits and expectations you explain why you are choosing these. This will help them respect your decisions in the future.
Keep the lines of communication open. You may experience fear, uncertainty or other challenging emotions when you first recognize that someone is violating your boundaries. Deep breathing exercises can help you to become grounded so that you can decide what next steps to take in the relationship. It is important to clearly communicate that the boundary has been crossed and how it’s made you feel. A supportive friend will hear you and be mindful of how their actions affect you. If the behavior continues, you have the power to make the decision to walk away from the situation.
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Boundaries are an excellent tool for helping us to cultivate supportive, lasting relationships. We need a certain amount of space to be independent and self-governing if a relationship is going to last. The people we spend time with need to know that they can count on you, but also that there are some areas where they have the responsibility to handle things on their own. Setting boundaries with friends who are unhealthy is hard, but it is also more necessary than ever. When you set clear boundaries, you show others that you are self-aware and confident. This will help you to weed out the relationships that are no longer meant for you.
It is likely that your boundaries will change over time. This is OK! You should actually make time to check in with how a relationship makes you feel. Simply notice the need to make changes and make them. Never be afraid to express how you want to be treated. You may not be able to control the actions of others but you certainly have the power to control what you allow.
]]>By Krystal Escoba
There's nothing more valuable than a healthy lifestyle. So I am personally highly committed to taking care of my mind, body and spirit. And the way that I do that is through balance.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. In our modern world, most problems stem from a simple lack of balance. By that, I mean achieving the balance between your work and personal life without letting either one suffer.
Here are 3 keys to help you find the right balance in your career and personal life.
When it comes to work-life balance, the first thing that comes to mind is often something along the lines of "quit your job and go live on a farm." This seems like an oversimplified solution to the genuine issue of work-life balance, but it's actually one of the most powerful tools at your disposal.
The reason? You can't take care of anyone else unless you've taken care of yourself.
Taking time for yourself doesn't mean you're being selfish; it means you're being smart.
For example, if you don't make time to exercise, chances are your energy levels will suffer. And if your energy levels suffer, it's hard to be as productive as you could be at work.
If you don't make time for family or friends, then you're not giving them the attention they deserve, either. So how will you start? Evaluate your priorities.
Countless things are pulling at our attention every day; it's impossible to do everything you want to do. The key is prioritizing what's important so you can give those things your complete focus.
It's easy to get bogged down by distractions, so start making a list of what you have going on in each area of life so you can see how much time and energy you are going to put into each one of those.
By the time you figure those things out, you will feel that your tasks are lighter, less stressful, and you’ll feel happier because you’re able to treat each one with enough time and energy. Hence, you’ll have more time to do what you love most.
A planner helps you to stay organized. Whether you need to track deadlines or appointments, or your family's activities or your own, a planner provides order in your life. You can choose from planners that are general in scope, for example, planners that cover work and social activities, or you can get planners that focus on one area of your life.
What is the best type of planner? There are so many choices out there, it can be overwhelming. Here are some options to get you started:
Day-planner: If you need to check off appointments throughout the day, a day-planner is for you. Day planners usually have hourly boxes to fill in during the day with what you did at each time slot. Some even have spaces for notes about meetings or what you accomplished during the day.
Weekly-planner: If you need to see an entire week's schedule at once, a weekly planner may be perfect for you. Weekly planners usually include daily planning spaces and large spaces where the weekends are broken out separately. In addition, the Sunday pages often have inspirational quotes and space to write down your weekly reflections.
These will help you oversee what will happen or what is happening with your whole day or week. You may set your priorities as well and monitor your daily activities. These planners may sometimes be your journal as well when you look back to each one of them.
The best way to stay focused on your goals is by creating a daily routine that allows you to progress in all areas of your life. The term "daily routine" may sound mundane, but it's the engine that makes everything else work.
I've had my fair share of ups and downs these past years, and one thing has remained consistent: if I don't structure my days around what matters most to me, I'll end up spinning my wheels. Make the investment of time upfront to create a daily plan, and you'll get more done without feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
With a few tweaks, you can increase the number of productive hours in your day, which will leave you feeling more energized and motivated.
One of the best ways to bring balance to your daily routine is to organize your days to have a mix of work, play and rest. You don't necessarily need to work more hours than everyone else to be productive — just find a way to be more efficient with your time.
Prioritize what is really important during working hours, then schedule time for relaxation and fun.
How will you do it? Start each day by identifying your top priorities and scheduling them as such. It's tempting as an entrepreneur to try and tackle every task on your list, but this often leads to poor decision-making and burnout.
By prioritizing your most important tasks, you'll ensure that you complete those essential items before moving on to less important matters.
Let's face it. Life will always be unpredictable, but there are some things we can control.
The main thing is balance.
It's so hard to find, but when you do, you'll be able to enjoy life without stress and drama. I love this quote by Sarah Kay: "When you get into the habit of doing the right thing, it's like falling in love with yourself."
Embrace change, but don't let it control your life. And most importantly… never stop learning!
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Today, we’d like to introduce you to Ravin Joseph. Ravin was introduced to us by the brilliant and talented Andromeda Raheem.
Ravin, can you walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
Growing up, I had not realized how dependent I was on my mother’s approval until her passing. After I accomplished all the goals we created together, I began to feel like I didn’t know who I was or my purpose. Something was still missing. It was strange to me because I was so independent. I learned how to take care of myself years before she passed, but I hadn’t realized that so many of the crucial decisions that I made were really based on her approval. For some time, I was pretty lost and eventually, I began to look for answers.
I would say I’ve been on this journey of self-discovery since 2014 after having a conversation with a colleague, a spiritual woman who had seen that I was unhappy. I was coming to work every day and just going through the motions. To this day, I believe that prayer brought her to me. I had barely spoken to this woman besides greeting her or discussing a student and here she was telling me about things that at the time I barely understood. But that conversation set me off on a personal adventure, unlearning habits that don’t serve my growth, learning about my history and most importantly, learning to love myself.
There are so many moving parts to how I got here. My struggles and desire to acquire knowledge have been my greatest inspiration. Each time I think I’m closer to knowing it all, life hits me with something refreshing and unexpected. As a child, I was inquisitive and would ask a lot of questions. For some people, it made them feel uncomfortable. I’m always looking to learn or do something new. I was always involved in some new hobby or project. Even to this day, I rarely like sitting still. Being active and asking questions has opened the door to new opportunities and meeting the right people.
Read the full story at Voyage Magazine
]]>The relationship between mental health and the media is a complicated one. While some research argues that there are ways in which the media can be beneficial for mental health, other studies show that there are also many negative effects of media on mental health.
This guide will examine many of these effects, while also offering several solutions to combat them.
Mental health is when you feel optimistic about yourself, your life, and your future. It is when you can enjoy life, be productive at work, and have good relationships with others.
The definition of mental health is not universal. It varies in different cultures and among other individuals within a culture. Mental health is more than just the absence of mental illness. It is an overall evaluation of how well a person functions.
The term "mental health" may be used to describe a person's ability to live, work, and interact with others. A mentally healthy person typically has positive relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and society as a whole.
They can function well at home and work. They can deal with problems in healthy ways and have the ability to meet life's challenges.
Mental health is not an on-off thing. Most people are somewhere on the spectrum between very unhealthy behavior and no signs of mental illness.
Mental health is something that varies from day to day or even hour by hour for some people.
Media is everywhere today - on the internet, television, radio, and newspapers - it's hard to avoid! Media has become an essential part of our lives.
It entertains us; informs us, enlightens us, sells products; promotes issues; creates trends; makes people laugh, engages children, tells parents, teaches skills, etc.
However, the media can also have an impact on our mental health. With the increased use of mobile phones, social networking sites (such as Facebook), and video game consoles (X-Box, etc.), there is increasing concern around the effect of these technologies on young people's mental health.
In the UK, the country's chief medical officer is giving parents advice on how to balance potential benefits of screen time with other essential activities for children, including sleep, exercise and face-to-face social interaction (Davies et al, 2019).
Also, in 2017, the Royal Society of Public Health described social media as more addictive than alcohol or substance use. Hence, the addiction is more complex than a simple cause and effect equation. It may be that the idea of social media being more addictive is because it can be taken without restriction and without social stigma attached.
Media can affect our mental health both positively and negatively. Media can increase our knowledge about things happening in the world around us, help us relax, or provide us with entertainment during leisure time.
However, it can also negatively affect how we think or feel about ourselves or others, especially if we overuse it or don't use it wisely.
There's evidence that people can feel depressed when they spend time on Instagram, because comparing themselves with others makes them feel bad. Now Instagram will hide ‘like’ counts to try to reduce the pressure on users.
Perhaps the most effective way for teens to ensure that social media has a positive effect on their lives is by reducing their time on applications.
According to a study published by the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, undergraduates who limited their time on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat to 10 minutes a day, or a total of 30 minutes on all social networks, are generally more positive and possess better self-image.
Students who restricted their use of social media to 30 minutes a day were less depressed and lonely after three weeks.
Those reported with "higher levels of depression" at the beginning of the period were happier. The increase was significant.
In general, people are not willing to change their use of social media just because they hear that it is terrible for them. People need to understand better what their limits are.
It's probably not feasible for most social media users to quit altogether. However, they can monitor their behavior and see how their use affects them and act on it.
Sperling encourages people to experiment with their behavior by assessing their emotions on a 0-10 scale before browsing social media applications and after browsing for one week.
If you're less satisfied after using it, consider changing how you use your social media sites, such as reducing usage or participating in other fun activities.
You can take social media breaks, and participate in other activities that feel good to you. If ever you feel disheartened by your social media experience, give yourself permission to post selectively and only post things you feel grateful about.
Expressing gratitude helps you realize how much you have to be grateful for.
Expressing gratitude can also help improve your relationships—for example, expressing gratitude to a family member who takes care of you can help strengthen the bond between you.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is the feeling that you're not doing what others are. And comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of disillusionment and dissatisfaction with your life.
Using mindfulness to develop self-compassion and self-acceptance, you can overcome the negative effects of FOMO and have a life that matches your values instead of being distracted by the lives of others.
Try doing meditation or yoga and light some scented candles while doing this. Meditation and the scented candles will help you find some inner peace and accept yourself more.
Social media is less important than doing something you genuinely love. It is straightforward that if you want to be happy doing social media or anything else, you have to do things you love.
It would be easier to understand this fact if we weren't living in a world where social media dominates communications. But it does. And it has made us increasingly shallow about connecting with others.
When people ask how they can best connect with others on social media, I always answer, "do other things that you love." Social media will connect us with people who are interested in what we are interested in.
That's the way it works. If you are interested in something, you will attract others that share the same interest as yours.
It is hard to connect online because what we are interested in tends to be pretty narrow, mainly our hobbies and jobs. We don't have much interest in other people's hobbies or jobs, which leads to a lack of connection between them and us online.
The amount of time we spend on social media deviates from our interests and makes it narrow because most of what happens is about ourselves and people like ourselves.
Different kinds of media, whether it’s a tv, ad, radio, website, social media, displays two types of effect to us, positive and negative.
Media sometimes provides us with happiness and laughter; it sometimes gives us some information, it may be our source of entertainment and past time. But there are adverse effects to us especially shown in children, teenagers, and general users.
As they say, everything that is too much is never good. So let’s stay connected remotely as well as physically.
Let’s enjoy nature, the tangible things, and the genuine relationships in our lives.
We are not saying to quit media, but we’re just advising to use it safely and manageably.
]]>It included:
Directions:
On the stove place a small saucepan. Pour in 8 ounces of Almond milk. Drop in a cinnamon stick and about a teaspoon of grated fresh ginger . Set it on a low flame for about 5 minutes until it boils. Strain the liquid then pour it back into the pot before adding a ½ tsp of turmeric and a dash or two of nutmeg. Add a sweetener and a few drops of vanilla essence, then whisk it for about 2 minutes (yup I know, so much work but it’s so worth it).
To save time I decided to fuse together the main ingredients and make a batch. Now, I only have to add the vanilla essence, milk and sweetener of my choice. I included coconut milk powder which may help with cholesterol and the immune system but I added it to the batch mainly for its taste.
For the Valentine's Day gift sets I’ve included two ounces of milk of my Golden Milk fusion. lClick here to purchase. All you have to do brew the powder in your favorite milk liquid and add the sweetener of your choice. I also included an electric whisk to better mix the product. It leaves that foamy stuff on top which makes me feel like I’m at a cafe. So relaxing.
Add a personal read a Candid Soul Candle and unwind.
]]>My candle line includes words of affirmations. I believe that we should remind ourselves daily of who we are and that we are worthy. With the power of social media and advertisements in our faces every second of the day it’s important to remain true to who we are. Not to say that people around us make us feel less worthy, but be honest, as humans we tend to compare ourselves to others to determine whether we are successful enough. I’m here to tell you all of that bull shit doesn’t matter. I am guilty of doing this for most of my life. I am very fond of my mother and even after her passing I still found myself doing things I know would make her proud. Not to say I don’t love who I've become, because I do, but it was only last year that I decided to sit with myself and figure out what I want for myself. Maybe not “decided”; quarantining forced me to sit my ass still and do some reflecting. I’m glad that I did because I was able to put things in my life into perspective and decide what I want to do with it. I had so many different projects going on and now they are coming together beautifully because I found a way to merge my passions by determining my values. Not the values of my mother, best friend or mentor, but what I want, what makes me happy, what I find joy in doing and being.
It’s still the beginning of a new year and studies show that about 80% of people who create resolutions for themselves fail by January 15th. It’s easy to fail, but when you have a reason and a plan you are more likely to fall into the successful 20%. I challenge you to create a plan for yourself so that you can begin to live the life that you want.
Here’s how to do it in just 5 steps. You’re going to need a journal or sheet of paper and a writing utensil for this activity.
This year be intentional about the life you want to live. Live YOUR life.
DM me or email me to let me know which you’re going to focus on.
Photo by Marissa Cristina.
Photo on home page by Seven Shooter
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Lately, I've been on a mission to find healthier eating choices. After talking to my wellness coach (yup I have one of those, I admit I am not always great at holding myself accountable), I made the decision to try one new recipe per week. This week I made an acai bowl. I've only had it one other time prepackaged from Trader Joes and decided to make my own.
Antioxidants are so good for fighting particles in our bodies that may cause cancer. I love blueberries but after hearing that the acai fruit has nearly triple the amount of antioxidants I decided to give it a try.
I shared the ingredients used in this video below, made using my bullet blender. The only thing I would say I would do differently is use more honey, because it could have been sweeter or blend the entire banana. Next time, I'll use more and I won't feel guilty about it because the Acai fruit is low in sugar. (Yay, I know). Now that I'm typing this I think I need to let my dentist know. He believes the world needs to give up sugar all together. Oh and one more thing, I was hungry about an hour after I ate this. I ate some unsalted cashews to curb my appetite for another few hours.
If you try this recipe tag me @custommadeinnewyork on IG and let me know your thoughts.
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I felt like such a hypocrite as I put together a workshop on suicide prevention for my nonprofit. I was asked before whether or not I had thoughts of suicide. Each time I was asked this my answer was always "no" After watching a Ted Talk done by someone who attempted suicide I realized I shouldn't be ashamed of my truth. That's what I was ashamed of.
In college, I was a transfer student and resident assistant on campus. I didn't have a roommate, so it was easy for me to become invisible.There was a time when I felt helpless and I sought a counselor. I admitted to my best friend why I was seeing a counselor, and immediately he expressed how bad he felt, and each day he made sure to check in with me. I felt guilty for how bad I made my friend felt and for some reason after that I kept those thoughts to myself. I'm the one who is supportive of my friends. It was so strange to see that my friends felt they needed to support me. It felt wrong. I was raised in a home with a mother who didn't show emotion. I can count on my left hand how many times I saw my mom cry. I can only remember 3. Three times my mother cried in my presence. For some reason in my mind being honest about feeling down, weak or defeated wasn't an option. I felt like I had to be this strong black woman. Strong meaning not showing any vulnerability. I also thought that if jobs saw that I was seeing a therapist, they would use it against me, so even now, I pay out of pocket, just to keep my secret.
Another reason I would keep my thoughts to myself is that these feelings were recurrent and I didn't want to be looked at as weak or a problem, someone my friends and family needed to worry about. I refuse to be anyone's burden. Since my mother's passing, I have had several episodes of deep depression some lasting a few days, weeks or months.
After watching the TED Talk and seeing letters written by family members on youtube videos, it reminded me of the love I have surrounding me even when I don't feel like I do, which I'm sure many people can relate to. We have a support system and should not be afraid to use it. If we feel like we'll be judged or misunderstood as I'm sure in some cultures a safe space doesn't exist there are hotlines such as the Suicide Prevention Lifeline ( 1-800-273-8255). I used a hotline before in 2009, and after two conversations I felt ok. Talking through our feelings makes it so much easier to manage when it's in your head it feels like a beast trying to take over.
Today I don’t feel ashamed of taking care of my mental health. It’s my form of self-love. I am committed to daily meditation and improving my relationship with God, which has helped me tremendously with facing anxiety and depression. I know it gets better. IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER.
I want others to know that it's ok to say how they feel and talk about what's on their mind. After seeing the statistics that every 12 minutes 1 person commits suicide in the united states and remembering a schoolmate of mine passing away a few years ago along with an attempt by a family member, I’ve been more attentive to what people post, say and do including, family, my students and strangers. Yup I check in with my new friend on IG who struggles with depression
I encourage us all to just be more considerate and compassionate of others, to listen without judgment and to allow a safe space for people to share how they are feeling.
This post was originally written in 2018. I must say I am proud of how much I’ve grown with the consistent work I’ve done on myself. I read this and was like who was this person? :). I’ve been in such a better place. I still see my therapist weekly and let my insurance cover it. I mean my job is what causes me much stress anyway (I’m kidding) :)
Hey Yall, It's Wellness Wednesday and I am sharing another one of my morning routines. My daily facial skincare routine takes about 5 minutes.
My Lip Therapy Kit that includes a lip scrub, lip balm and biodegradable brush will launch this fall so be on the lookout and subscribe to be notified. www.candidsoulco.com
As promised, I've included the different products used in my skincare routine. One being my favorite Elite Melanin Glow bar.
Shea Moisture- Clarifying Mud Mask: https://www.target.com/p/sheamoisture-african-black-soap-clarifying-mud-mask-6oz/-/A-49109600
Shea Moisture- African Black Soap Clarifying Facial Wash & Scrub: https://www.target.com/p/sheamoisture-african-black-soap-clarifying-facial-wash-38-scrub-4oz/-/A-14520927
Elite Melanin: Glow Bar: www.elitemelanin.com
Vitamin E Oil:Local Beauty Supply Store
Cotton Rounds: https://www.bjs.com/product/berkley-jensen-premium-cotton-rounds-6-pk100-ct/28338
Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Aloe Herbs & Rosewater: https://www.sephora.com/product/mario-badescu-facial-spray-with-aloe-herbs-rosewater-mini-P444967?country_switch=us&lang=en&skuId=2185056
Tree Hut: Hydrating Overnight Mask: https://www.amazon.com/Tree-Hut-Hydrating-Overnight-Chamomile/dp/B01N2R6PT5
Thayers Facial Toner: https://www.amazon.com/Thayer-Cucumber-Witch-Formula-Facial/dp/B001BR97A0/ref=sr_1_1?crid=M8NDFWRY4O8O&dchild=1&keywords=thayers+witch+hazel+cucumber&qid=1599049221&sprefix=thayer%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-1